When my first and only computer arrived in the mail, my dearest possession was a beat up Pontiac Grand Am GT, I wore thrift shop tie-dye shirts almost exclusively, and I occasionally donned a pair of clear-lensed wayfarer glasses (I still have nothing to say for myself).
In the five years since, the Grand Am was replaced with a more reliable Ford Focus, my t-shirts have gotten a bit more plain, and my glasses have become all too real, but one thing has remained throughout: my first-run aluminum body Macbook.
It has served a great many purposes over the years: music production studio, typewriter, cinema, jukebox, and so forth. It survived a six-foot fall off of a DJ booth and a five-minute bath in Jack Daniel’s. Unsurprisingly, both happened while we were in college.
Like myself, it took these hits in stride. It wears its scars proudly, and what it lacks in speed, it makes up for in wisdom.
This isn’t intended as an advertisement for Apple products, but humans and tools have a history together, and when you use any tool every day for even a month or two you establish a bond with it. I might have named my computer, if only it felt distant enough from myself to deserve its own identity. In truth, it’s a part of me; a gleaming technological extension of my personality, creativity, and taste.
Enough gushing. The point is, this isn’t going to be easy. Doable, like anything else, but not easy.
Sure, I’ll have my phone for emergencies, for emails, for media, but I don’t sit down to do work on my phone. There’s something soothing and habitual about packing my laptop into my canvas shoulder bag early in the morning on a day off, heading to whichever coffee shop should be the least busy on that day, turning off my phone, and digging into writing, reading, or learning until I’ve had enough.
Not that I can’t do that with my other tools—if past challenges are any indicator, I wouldn’t be surprised if I got everything done just the same, computer or not—I’m just anxious, and uncertain. But uncertainty creates opportunity, and opportunity leads to—ah, screw it. I’m just going to jump in headfirst and see what happens.
See you later, Mac.
may we all get better together.